Knowing who you are is hard. I don’t think Who am I moments are limited to middle school or high school – they can happen at any point in life. I have been with myself my entire life you would think I should have a pretty good grip on it by now.
If you know me you know I am a people pleaser. I have been my whole life which, if you are not careful, can get you in trouble or “walked on”, so to speak.
A couple of years ago I experienced one such period of being “walked on”. Sad to say it was with close friends of my family. For a people pleaser like me, a simple mistake on my part is a far bigger deal then it may be to someone else (in my mind anyway… ). It was a failure to simply introduce one person to another which lead to words from that person saying to me, “Are you ashamed of my family that you won’t even introduce me to your close friends?” This was a small mistake on my part and I greatly apologized for it!
Longer story short, days went by and that family refused to talk to me or my family. It broke me. The thought of me making someone that upset was devastating, as you can imagine.
My mom and I had proceeded to talk about the situation for a few days. I was so upset I ran from the house, got in my car and drove (I cannot remember where but it wasn’t far). As I drove down the road, I started to cry and yell at God, “Why Lord? What could I possibly do that could be this bad when all I have ever done is love these people!” I continued with, “I can’t do this anymore! God I can’t make everyone happy, even you said YOU wouldn’t make everyone happy with the words you spoke! Truth.”
From that day on I found my identity. I found that no, I cannot make everyone happy and not everyone is going to like me. But I am here telling you it does not matter. It only matters what God thinks and sees in you! If you are a believer, He sees Christ, His son, all over you, He sees His child loving Him with all their heart.
Even though that was a breaking point for me in my life, I truly believe God used it for my good, to tell me that all I needed was Him and I am allowed to have my own thoughts. I am now a free person, free speaker because not everyone is going to like what I have to say or do and that’s okay.
This was a very personal thing for me to share and I hope it helps you see that all we need is Jesus. He puts people in your life for a season sometimes to teach us things whether we want to hear them or not.
Ephesians 1:3 says, “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us is the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ.”
Romans 12:2, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is- his good, pleasing and perfect will.”
I take from these verses that, no matter what, God has already blessed us with so much so who are we to care what others think or say of us? His voice is what matters, and we are His beloved. There will always be people speaking their opinions over us, but we are not to become them or be changed by them.
Much love, Olivia