Most people like to dance around the topic of sex. The reality is that the more we pretend like it is not an issue, the more it hurts us and our future generations.
I recently went to Athens, Greece on a trip. As I walked through the streets of downtown, there were signs everywhere flashing “Sex Sells”, “Do What YOU Want”, and “Just Do It NOW”. These signs point to the reality of a culture being overtaken by a skewed version of sex and immediate pleasure. I immediately tied this culture back to America because we do almost the exact same thing, without using the blatant language.
The truth is, we all have been effected in some way by sex. Sexual abuse, boundless relationships, rape, crude advertisements, pornography – these are just a few examples of what happens when a God-given entity is skewed by our (humans) sinful nature. We can be effected as a participant or a victim, or sometimes both.
God gave sex as a gift to people united by marriage. While it can be a beautiful bonding thing with your spouse, when used in a way not intended by God, it hurts people. There is a lot in that last statement but I am not going to dwell there because my focus is much deeper.
Many of us have “fallen short” or have been effected in some way but there is a heavy burden there.
1 Corinthians 6:18 says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body”
Sinning against your own body hurts differently than the sins of lying or stealing, for example. This is a deeper hurt because it effects the core of who you are, spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. We all know the pain and the emotions related to it, I believe that is safe to say because of the world we live in.
I’m writing this blog because I know what it is like. The guilt, the shame, the heavy yet empty feeling deep down. You feel like the only one, yet there are so many that can relate. It can be the loneliest place when you give yourself away or you yourself are taken advantage of by another person.
I write this not as a condemning person. I write it because I found something that makes all those negative things shrink. Jesus died for every person, for their sin, including their shame and guilt. He took it on as He sacrificed Himself on a cross and through his death and resurrection He gives us a life so much more than we could imagine. I used to think that this “abundant life” God promises us is supposed to be easy and filled with riches and happiness. I have found that this life is rather filled with a joy and a peace so deep. I know Christ took all my burden onto Himself and defeated it as well as death. For that I am forever grateful. I no longer have these chains of burden and shame controlling me, and I can live at full peace and relentless joy under His banner of love. Christ paid it all and now I worship Him because of His love for me.
Life is still hard for me. I have joy and peace that is almost indescribable but I still live in a broken world. College is hard, and life is even harder. But God gives me the strength to get through it and the courage to press on. Sex damages so many relationship these days and it can be hard to get back up again and heal. There are days when the shame cripples me and I can barely look at myself in the mirror but those days are vital because I must choose to cling to God even more.
Here are some of His truths over me and over you that I like to encourage myself with:
“The Lord is with me; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?” -Psalm 118:6
“I am fearfully and wonderfully made” -Psalm 139:14b
“God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble” -Psalm 46:1b
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” -Joshua 1:9
I am His “treasured possession” -Deuteronomy 7:6
I am “holy and blameless in His sight” -Ephesians 1:4
I am “chosen” -Colossians 3:12
Nothing can separate me from the love of God -Romans 8:35-39
God is “with me always” -Matthew 28:20
He is “the savior of all who seek refuge” – Psalm 17:7
I know this is a lot, but when you are down in the dumps, you need to know what the God of this Universe has said about you and has promised to you. There are many people who have self-help guides and other ways to get your mind off your past. But the hard truth is that your past will haunt you until you give it to God. He knows you fully and can heal you fully. The Bible talks about chains of bondage and how, when you let God in, those bondages are broken off. One of the BEST verses to preach to yourself is Galatians 5:1, “It is for freedom that Christ has set us free”. You are not a slave to sin, to shame, or to guilt. If you have accepted Christ’s sacrifice for your sins, you are free.
Sex has become a slave-master in today’s world. Sex trafficking and pornography are both at all-time highs in their “businesses”. Most people are somehow connected to this master and the ultimate end is never pleasure, but rather shame and guilt. Whether you are connected to sex willingly or unwillingly, it always leaves a scar.
These are the things people do not really talk about because if we are honest we are all scared and lonely deep down. We are afraid of people knowing who we are deep down and we are scared of being rejected. The ironic thing is that God knows us already, from the outside all the way to our core. He knows you and He still loves you.
Do not run from the only one who can turn your life around and make it better than it ever could be. Jesus Christ is the answer. He is the answer you need and the one you have been searching for. My heart goes out to you. I may not know all the readers of this blog but I have prayed for each one of you, far and wide. I pray that the Lord would heal your heart from any brokenness and shame. That the chains of bondage would be removed and that you would see Jesus in a truer more beautiful light. Jesus loves you, knows you, and is here for you.